Monday, July 2, 2007
Why, When and How
This is an open question post. Yesterday in church, our pastor was talking about the church in Laodicea. Since that wouldn't necessarily ring bells for me either, it was the church that the Scripture passage was written to concerning being hot and cold and not lukewarm. I'm sure that most of us have heard that verse in church or school or some other capacity. I can think of many, many times it would have been brought to mind in college.....anyway..... Our pastor was talking about how self-sufficient and arrogant this church had become, thus the letter being written to them to confront them and their sin. I had a confrontation a couple of weeks ago with a very old and dear friend. It did not go well. But, I did tell her things that I felt had been put on my heart to tell her many times and had lacked the courage to do so. My heart breaks for her because of some of the decisions that she has made and is making. However, that is not to say that I am anywhere close to being perfect- I am so far from it. I could post for days about the sins that I deal with constantly and the poor attitude I have being a parent frequently. But, I feel as if I am continually challenged on these things by my husband and friends, and mostly, by God. So, before I drone on and on, has anyone dealt with this before? I know I have been vague, but, in the spirit of confidentiality, I don't want to reveal too much. I love her dearly, but, when do you let go? How long do you watch someone not seem to care about their sin? Is it any of our business as friends, or more so, as sisters in Christ? I would love to hear any opinions on this!!!........
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2 comments:
Wow - a hard one! I think its good to let your friend know where you stand. In my experiences I have had to let go of that friendship in the sense of it being a two way thing. Friendship is give & take, but when the person stops giving and is only taking, its not a friendship anymore. I have such "friendships" in which I still greatly love them, but have to give up the notion that this is true friendship. I still keep up with them, I just do not invest anything in the relationship. I offer none of myself. Maybe I shouldn't keep up, but I do, in the hope that they will come around. When friends make decisions that you disagree with, big life decisions, its tough!
Someone said once that the older you get the fewer friends you have. I disagreed with this at first, but the older I get I find this to be so. As life progresses you find that you need to surrond yourself with friends that encourage you and support you. They walk with you during the tough times and the good times, and you with them when they are struggling or if things are going great. Sometimes you come to a crossroads in a friendship where that is no longer the case. You just cannot give anymore. We are all adults here and when a friend asks you for advise you assume that they ask you because they want your help in correcting the situation. When they repeatedly ask for advise and then do not heed it then there is nothing you can do, and your wisdom is falling on deaf ears. Anyone can do the big things, but it is the little things that matter most. When something big happens everyone wants to help because everyone else is watching and it is their time to shine to be the hero if you will. The little things, the day to day things that seem so small are what count. Do they have a desire to care for you when no one else is watching or when it is not good for them. I have a handful of friends who are willing to do this for me, and I love them for it. This was a lesson that I had to learn by being on both sides. There is no love loss for these people that I have parted way from, but I want friends around me that want to do the little things, and I want to be that kind of friend for them.
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